From One Mom To AnotherJuly 2013
One of the key components in our journey of raising our kids for Christ was trying to find ways to help train our children to focus outward and not just on "self." I believe this is one of the hardest of traits to instill in children since we, as sinful human beings, always think of ourselves first. I am not talking about training them in self–loathing. There is a balance here. They must see their worth as a God–given treasure — that they are so valuable that Christ chose to die for them. This can only come from Christ.
But, parents do play a huge role in His revelation of that to them. How we love and show them their value to us, will pave the way for Christ to reveal His great esteem for their lives. If we fail to show them that they are precious in our sight, it will make it harder for them to believe that they are precious in His sight. Yet, selfishness and self–centeredness are not traits that build that understanding.
Of course, every baby has to learn first that she has an individual identity and individual needs that must be met either by a parent figure and eventually by herself. As they grow and learn to meet their own needs, they also can be trained to look for those needs in others. Once they begin to identify feelings and needs in others, they can begin to be more considerate of others and eventually choose to think of others and put the needs of these others before their own desires and wishes.
Again, I am not talking about not taking care of themselves, but rather loving others as themselves as Christ taught us and demonstrated to us (Matthew 19:19). Guiding the child to treat their toys (or siblings, friends, etc.) kindly by stating or asking how that action would make their doll or friend feel, was a beginning point for us as we attempted to train our children to walk in the paths of scripture.