From One Mom To AnotherMarch 2017 (2)
Brokenness
Over the years, I’ve had contact with quite a few mothers with broken hearts of varying degrees. There are some who are sad because their children struggle in some areas. I think all of us at some time or another hurt for our kids’ hurts and defeats. Then there are some who truly have hearts that seem to be shattered into tiny jagged pieces with little or no hope of ever being whole again. There are some who have walked through such horrific experiences as having a child struggle and lose the battle with destructive behaviors such as substance abuse, crime, cutting. Some with children that have runaway or most tragic of all, committed suicide. You are the parents, whom I feel led to speak to today. I tread lightly because I know how caring, but sometimes ignorant, words can do more harm than good. I promise you that I pray these words will only bring hope and not more pain as I prayerfully write them tonight.
I also realize there is nothing that I can say to you that will help. But, I can’t help but believe that God has words that can bring healing. I don’t want you to think that I am about to say to be grateful for your tragic circumstance, but I must say, I believe that a God that loved you and called you will faithfully hear your cries and answer you. Hang on with all your strength to His promises that are so beautiful and full. At times they can seem empty, and the people that quote them may seem too religious to make them sound anything more than Sunday School or rote answers to life’s biggest problems. But I must say, that the One who spoke them in the first place is more than capable of bringing them about and fulfilling them whether we are able to believe or not. For He is faithful even when we are not. 2 Tim. 2:13
There is such truth in every scripture, and I think now of the one that says that Greater joy has no one than to hear that their children are walking in the truth. 3 John 4 I feel the opposite must also be true — greater pain has no parent than when our children walk away from the truth. The cause of that straying may not even matter or may make it worse if we feel we or some other trusted person is to blame. Whether they strayed because of abuse, peer pressure, generational sin, betrayals, or the appeal of sin, the result is the same: distance from God and ugly, horrible scars. Also, it breaks our hearts as parents, grandparents and family. Our reactions vary greatly as well. Some of us grieve with tears, sadness and depression, and others grieve with anger and rejection. Truly this is impossible to understand and write in this short entry by this writer or even to comprehend without much insight from God.
One thing I know: God does care and He does have the answer. I was thinking about a mother who visits her daughter who is in prison for hurting her grandchild — and cries constantly. The younger sister that was talking to me about this was working in a degrading job to help support her broken family. How can anyone BUT God have an answer for that pain? Pain so great? Lives so devastated by wrong doing? ONLY God can have an answer this big. He had the answer for Job when all of his children were killed. And He felt the pain Himself, when His only Son was killed because of sin. He walked in our shoes. He cares so much that He even gathers our tears in a bottle. Psalm 56:8 Think of that, meditate on that. Has anyone ever loved you so much that even your tears were considered precious and valued enough to save?
I think ultimately of Mary Magdelene who had sinned so greatly that she was judged and condemned by most “good” people. But she came to know God in a way that is far greater than those very people who judged her as less than they were. They remained empty, and Jesus scolded them. But Mary was honored and is spoken of even today. John 12:3-7 Our pain and our failures or the failures of our children, if they lead us to know Jesus in such a profound way, eventually turn into the greatest gift.
Cling to His promise, dear broken-hearted one, for He works all things together for good. Rom.8:28 Then find a way to make yourself praise Him before you see the good, even through the tears. Once God transforms a horrific situation into good, it’s easy to be thankful and full of faith. But, when we praise Him before anything good shows up; while we are still in the depths of our brokenness, that is when the praise and worship is the highest and the sweetest to our Maker. That is when our hearts find the most peace and joy in suffering. That is when healing can take place — even if only for a moment. That is when our shattered hearts actually do appear almost whole. That is when, if we allow Him to, God will renew our vision of a Sovereign God. Sovereign in all things — even in this ircumstance. He will have the appearance of a Lamb that was slain as in Revelation 5:6 and as the All-powerful and Victorious Lion of the Tribe of Judah. (Rev. 5:5) And when we finally meet Him face to face, we will know what others have said, that it will be worth it all.
As the song says: “But until then, my heart will go on singing. Until then with joy I’ll carry on.” I pray you will find strength to sing in your darkest days. Sending each of you love .