From One Mom To AnotherDecember 2014
This month, I would like to address an epidemic in our society and the pandemic it may possibly become in the generation that is growing up right now. It has become so common that it actually has a name that we all have come to recognize. Entitlement!
This problem used to appear as an economic problem, but I think that was merely a symptom of the heart issue that our nation is dealing with. I'm sure it has many technical definitions, but if you will allow me to give my opinion here, it is the crowning state of selfishness that expects and demands benefits from others for oneself without working for or earning them. I believe it is at the root of many difficulties we encounter today from road rage to politics. As moms, we may not be able to change Washington, but we can vote, pray, speak up, and raise children who will respond to the world around them as God prescribed to us in Scripture.
I have always believed that self and will are present from birth and must develop in a child for that child to grow into whomever God has desired for them to be. Leaders must have a stronger self-will. But, they must also learn to control and submit that strength to their parents and authorities in order to be able to submit to the God of the Universe. A willful, self-centered leader is of no good use at all, whereas a strong leader who can submit his will to God can be used to change the world around him.
Thinking back as a child, I can remember the beginning of these public encroachments on God's principles. The first television commercials that echoed in our ears of “you deserve it” began in the '60s. How I can remember my dad's mocking voice as he would repeat those words. I've said it before that I am not proposing an attitude of self-deprecation. Neither self-love nor self-hate are what God designed for us. Christ said, “Love your brother as yourself.” Somewhere we messed up. We listened to the self-love within and decided that was the route to success and happiness in this world. What we failed to see was that self-love leads to a life of unhappiness and failure. The world today screams at us constantly that this is the path to take; the way to live our lives and raise our children. I'm afraid we don't realize that the voice we hear and the words we are listening to are from the enemy of our souls and the enemy of our very children.
So what can we do to help our children live in this world without becoming infected with this epidemic known as self-love? What is the vaccine? WOW, that is a huge task — as James Dobson has titled a book, Parenting Isn't For Cowards. I want to shout from the rooftops — or at least from this small website — God is able to give us victory over the most daunting of tasks.
So what do YOU do to raise a child that is not eaten up by a craving for more? Tiny steps towards a goal will get you there. Sometimes we become so enthused and determined to reach a goal that we will sprint with all our strength only to discover that we are trying to sprint a marathon race. Pace is key in this effort. Day by day planting tiny seeds and watering them gently will definitely bring a glorious harvest. I often refer back to that first newsletter which explained how to make discipline a PICNIC. Just remember to start with one trait and with small steps. This can be applied to whatever age child you are working with (even yourself, if you feel infected with self-love). Our very nature is self-love. We cannot change ourselves any more than a leopard can change its spots. It takes a re-birth to develop a nature that is anything but self. After that, God can empower you and me to become like Him; He gives us power to be children of God, and like our Father. Jesus walked this earth loving others and choosing not to love self more than God's will and the souls of others.
In the Coach's Corner you'll find some suggestions for helping your child to overcome an entitlement mindset