Red Crown

Raising Daughters Of The King

Princesses that bring Honor to their Royal Father

Giving practical tips and encouragement to mommies of girls

Empty NestJuly 2014

Each of my recent mission trips was filled with opportunities to get out of my comfort zone and to serve and love others. I find when I am out of my home area and sometimes on foreign soil, I depend heavily on the guidance of the Holy Spirit for protection as well as for words to speak.

When I was a mom of very young children and feeling on foreign soil for the first time, I remember selecting each word with as much care as I possibly could, knowing that their little hearts and minds and spirits were fresh and tender and extremely impressionable.

As my girls grew into teenagers, once again I entered foreign, maybe even enemy territory☺, I felt I needed to choose each word with more care, for once again, their lives were at a very vulnerable stage.

I found God to be very faithful to give me correct words and principles from His Word that only He could bring to my memory at the precise time. Surely His love over my children (as well as yours), is so strong that He directed many moments that brought clarity and His presence/His Word into the moment of conversation.

I can’t begin to count the number of times that in an important dialogue with a daughter that God would help me see the situation for the principle that was being taught and then He would give me the Biblical story or verse that pointed directly to the solution. Honestly, I knew it was not me, but God.

Later, once my daughters reached adulthood, however, I must confess that, for a few months I felt that my empty nest and upheaval of roles gave me license to begin speaking what was on MY mind more freely and with less care in word selection.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for a faithful God to show me once more that even as the mom of adult daughters, He desires to be honored and kept as guardian over my lips, and that walking in the Spirit rather than the flesh is not a job that can be left at the office at quitting time or in the nursery after children grow up, but a way of life to be experienced at all times, without ceasing.

Perhaps it is the special pathway that God has chosen for my precious daughters, or my own frailty that creates the need to keep me aware of every word I might carelessly speak; but whatever the cause, I find that if I were to characterize my life in one spiritual exercise over the almost 50 years that I have walked with God, it would be the need to exercise control over the tongue and self or the flesh.

If I were to summarize my parenting techniques into one phrase, it would be: self-control, especially in words that are firm, honest, and kind. I can say truthfully, when this fruit has been exhibited, it has been truly a fruit of the Holy Spirit. When it has not been exercised, sadly, it was due to my acting without allowing that control of the precious Holy Spirit. If truly anything good came from my parenting, it was because God was good and intervened with His control. I believe that same truth applies to you as well.